Eat Me

There are only two things as a species that are both a biological need and so closely tied to the human condition as food and sex. These two are the only basic biological needs that so clearly effect our mood, physical condition, psychological state and will even shape who we are as people depending on the experiences we've had with each throughout our life.
These two are not only so closely tied to our society but to each other as well. Both are premises on which we base relationships, social interactions, and even political platforms. We study each as art form, as life skill, as mechanisms of physical and emotional destruction and distraction, as sin and decadence. We have both glorified and perverted two things in which we need to perpetuate our species and yet can do either completely thoughtlessly.
I will attempt in this page to address both of these activities, sometimes independently, others in correlation, but always with some new bit of information you will hopefully find useful.
Sun Jul 25


I have a friend, let’s call him Sam. Sam is a food slut and it infuriates me a little bit. Now I suppose I should define a food slut before going any further since I have recently learned from Facebook most people are not aware of this phenomenon even though most of you out there in the US fall into this category. Like that girl in high school who would sleep with anyone who paid her any attention or the guy at the club who will chase anything with two legs and a pulse a food slut will eat and enjoy any relatively good tasting food regardless of the quality, substance, or make up of said food. This means that Sam gets enjoyment out of both very high end, good quality food but likewise he gets just as much enjoyment from the McGriddle from McDonald’s. Now, I have to pause here in my rant to point out that Sam is a fantastic baker. Not only are his goodies tasty and well textured but they are all (for the most part) vegan, gluten free, and organic so I was surprised to learn Sam had this affliction and our arguments over the virtues of taste got me thinking about the ramifications of being a slut, in either sense, and how if affects ones enjoyment of both eating and sex. 

I am, at present, a serial monogamist I have spent many years in long term relationships of varying success, but before all that, I was a slut, for all intents and purposes. Just think of all the drugs you experimented with in school, all the sneaking out, shoplifting, and other generally juvenile delinquent activities you participated in and translate all of them into having sex, that was me. After my talks with Sam I spent some time thinking back on this and comparing it to my sex life of late. True there was more variety back then, and at times more volume (although admittedly, and thankfully, not much) but the quality was so spotty that it can’t even compare to what I have now. I will concede however, that I needed all of that experience to know what I like. Same with food as I see it. You need to try everything to know what you like, but ultimately, once you’ve figured that out you should find the best way possible of giving it to yourself. If you want to be a dirty slut in the bedroom fine, but you can do that with someone you care about and know you have good sexual chemistry with, and can still talk to after. Likewise you can eat sugar and fat but why not eat good quality sugar and fat, for example:


2 buttered and floured rammekins

2 oz semi-sweet chocolate

2 oz butter (or earth balance)

2 egg yolks (or one egg)

2 T sugar

1-1/2 T flour

In a pot over a low flame melt butter and chocolate, allow to cool slightly

whisk together eggs and sugar

temper chocolate into egg mixture (slowly in a steady stream pour chocolate mixture in to eggs bringing egg and sugar mixture gradually to the temperature of the chocolate without scrambling your eggs)

Add flour 

Divide between two prepared rammekins

Bake for 10 min at 350 degrees (inside will be liquid)

Look, I was a fat kid, I like to experience new things, and I do like junk food in my own way, but as I said before life for me is all about quality. After sleeping with a string of people who I had no interest in ever speaking to again I felt a little empty, likewise when I let my blood sugar get too low and give in to the first thing I see (generally at work a Krispy Kreme Doughnut or some sort of processed packaged cookie) I feel a little sick for a few hours. I wondered if this was only happening to me because I had turned myself into one of those crazy health nut people who couldn’t enjoy a treat every now and then, so I asked Sam if he didn’t feel gross after eating that crap. He said yeah, of course he did, which is why he had to make most of his food choices intellectually instead of viscerally. This again brings me back to my last post and the question of how often do we think about what we are eating before we eat it. True it takes a little more effort not to be a slut, but isn’t it worth it not to feel empty inside?

Sun Jul 11


How many times have you eaten something without a second thought as to what was in it or how it was made? Think about it. Those quick lunches on the go, late nights after work, you’re hungry, you’re tired, you’re in a hurry. Now, how many times have you had a one night stand? How many people have you slept with without a second thought. Perhaps in the 70’s this would have been a more valid question since we’re all a little more careful considering all the diseases out there, but come on. We’ve all done it. Last call and you’re just a little too drunk, a particularly long time since anyone’s touched you, you’re having a “fat day” and someone just happens to pay the right amount of attention. Beyond that, how many sexual encounters have you had that were just mediocre, or where, in the middle of it, when you should be paying attention to how incredibly good everything feels, you’re running through your grocery list, or your schedule for tomorrow? More than that, how many times have you found yourself in a relationship that you were in because you were used to it. Because you were there and that person, or that chocolate cake was there and it wasn’t particularly good, in fact it might have been downright bad or worse even, boring, yet you were there because that was the option in front of you?

I recently came to a place in my life where this was not enough. There are too many options, and too much pleasure in the world to simply take what’s convenient. Granted, it takes a bit more effort to read a label, to leave when the chemistry isn’t right, and to make the effort and put the thought in to keep things tasty, but in my experience the end result is so worth it that it becomes the only option. 

The following posts will be a cross section of things that I’ve found to make life worth remembering. Part recipe book, part restaurant and product review, part diary I suppose, hopefully including something useful. Feel free to let me know what you think.